It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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