Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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