I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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