Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
