I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
