Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
