Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
