Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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