Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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