Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
