Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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