ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
