Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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