All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
