i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
