i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
