i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You are a genius and a whore.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
