I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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