Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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