The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
