If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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