How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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