I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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