she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
