Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
