I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
