Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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