Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
