I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
