If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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