we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
