i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
