It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
