is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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