Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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