gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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