What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
