if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
