According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This house was built for laser tag.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
