I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
