It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
