I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
