I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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