Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
God, I missed his penis.
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