we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
