i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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