got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
