white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
