I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My bed smells like the plague
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
