haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
