Don't make out with my wife yet
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
