barbara walters just said penis...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
only if we run a train.
done.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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