Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
